The Unexpected Explosion for Her

The moment of catharsis that rings so loudly in your ears about the most general, non specific, whatever topic ever. 

Yet for some reason,

Craving that very specific moment of AHA that had happened for that topic. 

DONT ASK ME HOW I AM!!

You’ll never wanna ask again. 

I usually tell people I’m “Alive” 

And I’m not lyin, 

I just might be omitting a thing or two. 

I’m freaking Alive! 

I’m in love, 

and I hate it!

I’m sad, and morose and feeling bittersweet!

And AT THE VERY SAME MOMENT, 

I’M FREAKING ECSTATIC!! The day is as sweet as honey, and as satisfying as a good doughnut. 

Yes. 

A doughnut. 

If you don’t like it, then so be it. 

I learned how to breathe yesterday!!

Felt like the first time i had breath in my lungs. 

Learned the same very day what It felt to have it stolen from there. 

I realized why I never share my feelings.

People can’t handle it!!

The face people make when I respond with anything other than “I’m good” or “I’m ok” or “I’m alive”. 

It’s like I scared them into thinking they gotta actually care!!

Please don’t.

Just nod your head like I didn’t say anything. 

I’m sorry my intensity bleeds into everything I do. 

Watch me talk about a girl I’m crushing on, or a movie I thought was amazing. 

You’ll see what I’m talking about. 

It’s like the feelings of 100 men about the same topic is pouring out of me. 

I’m sorry it came out. 

Ignore everything I just said. 

I know it scares you that I somehow care so intensely and wanna show It!

For what it’s worth,

I enjoyed teaching you about 

Tesbahi 3ala khair. 

I hope you know who you are. 

You’ve changed the way I see life and people.

How has it been only 3 weeks?! Catharsis happened. Who are you?? 

You made me believe in something again that I’d given up all hope in. 

You don’t get it. 

Ente Agmal men el shams

Fe aktar ma3roof 3an el mo7eet men el Ana a3rafu 3anik

5aleni akteshefik le3’ayet mamoot

IM SO GLAD YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!

Sorry. 

I digressed again. 

Why do I do that so much?

It’s like my brain needs to spit out the thing on its mind the most. 

LEMME BURN WITH FEELINGS TOO DEEP TO SHARE!

Let the reader understand or pretend they didn’t read. 

Sorry. 

I know I’m too much. 

Not too much emotion.

Not too much talking. 

Not too much expression. 

Just too much force. 

Like a human nuke. 

I’m sorry I’m not better at controlling it’s outpour.