P.S. Ramblings

I can't shake this feeling.
haven't had it before.
they say things can't be a coincidence after the third time
well how do i explain this?
this is the third time and it has me tripping
i'm losing my mind
i've seen too many people dead
how do i avoid it?
is it avoidable?
can you postpone it?
or can you just jade you yourself against it?
I'm here and i feel like a fucking necromancer
since when is this a thing
why do i have this gift if i can't do anything with it?
how do i push back
i'm a warrior.
i'm not some benchwarmer
who know the that LUCK was an accurate depiction of how i feel and think?
let's GOOOOO
never shied away from the hard fights or the hard conversations with mental fights and arguments that make your head ache from the intensity
i've had vibes before
never been scared to be aware of what's around me.
this is different.
death is in the air
i know people have said the grimm reaper is a myth
but DAMN
if this isn't what a presence feels like,
then idk what this is.
call me insane or crazy
call me a lunatic.
i have no idea how to classify this but my brain won't shut up
this is an advance i can't ignore it
you can call it his ki, or vibes, or presence, or aura, or spirit, or whatever the hell you want
i can sense it and hard to ignore it.
not who i am or what i am for
teach me how to Fight and war, MY GOD!
father teach me to fight alongside michael and his own
teach me to be part of your army and know how to utilize what i have available to me.
let me be the fighter you've told me to be a billion times.

thanks